On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
