I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize