So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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