Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
