Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
