Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
