i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
