Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
farters have to be the big spoon...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
as a side note pls kill me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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