i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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