What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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