i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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