I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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