We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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