the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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