evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize