I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
