it was like his penis was on wheels.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
