so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the day after is always just damage control
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
