that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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