If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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