Will you blow on my dice?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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