STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
