I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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