How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
