This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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