I am puke
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
it's like heaven, but drunker
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
