I'm drive I can fine osifer
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
