I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
