I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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