the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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