Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
