i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
