half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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