shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
