I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize