Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize