I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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