Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
