I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
