If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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