I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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