I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Porn is love you can see.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
