Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
