So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
