wat bout pragnant strippers??
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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