with your own penis?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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