I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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