Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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