i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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