I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
