girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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