Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
