I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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