Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
