someone get that fucking seahorse.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
