Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
