Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
