First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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