Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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