Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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