Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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