I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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