i was born a porn star she said
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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