Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
