she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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