apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
