4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
