A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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